PLEASE TRY TO MOVE A LITTLE DURING THE ACT

A man was brought before the judge and charged with NECROPHILIA (having sex with a dead person).

The judge told him, "In 20 years on the bench, I've never heard such a disgusting, immoral thing. Just give me one good reason why I shouldn't lock you up and throw away the jail keys in the toilet?"

The man replied, "I'll give you THREE good reasons:
1. It's none of your damn business;
2. She was my wife; and...
3. I didn't KNOW she was dead, she ALWAYS acted that way!"

The case was dismissed, and the judge announced the following warnings:
For the ladies:: PLEASE TRY TO MOVE A LITTLE DURING THE ACT.
For the guys: IF THERE IS NOT MUCH MOVEMENT, STOP IMMEDIATELY AND CHECK IF SHE IS ALIVE?