NEW WEEDED COUPLE

The couple has been married only two weeks. The husband, although
very much in love, can't wait to go out on the town and party with his
old buddies.
"Honey," says he to his new bride, "I'll be right back..."
"Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asks the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face. I'm going to have a beer."
"You want a beer, My Love?" She opens the refrigerator door shows
him 25 different brands of beer from 12 different countries: Germany,
Holland, Japan, India, including six places he's never even heard of.
The husband is nonplussed, and all he can think to say is, "Yes, Honey
Pie, but the bar you know...the frozen glass..."
He hasn't finished the sentence before wifey interrupts him by saying,
"You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She hands him a mug out of
the freezer that is so cold that it burns his fingers
"Yes, Tootsie Roll," hubby says a bit desperately, "but at the bar they
have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long.
I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"
"You want hors d'oeuvres, Pookie Pooh?" She opens the oven and
removes 15 different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in a blanket,
mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.
"But, Sweetie, Honey...at the bar...you know...the swearing, the dirty
words and all that..."
"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? Here...DRINK YOUR FUCKING BEER
IN YOUR FROZEN FUCKING MUG AND EAT YOUR FUCKING SNACKS,
BECAUSE YOU AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE! GOT IT, ASSHOLE?!!"