Skiing

One Day Three Friends Go To A Ski Lodge And There Aren’t Enough Rooms, So They Have To Share A Bed.

In The Middle Of The Night, The Guy On The Right Wakes Up And Says: “I Had This Wild, Vivid Dream Of Getting A Hand Job!”

The Guy On The Left Wakes Up And Unbelievably He’s Had The Same Dream Too.

Then The Guy In The Middle Wakes Up And Says: “That’s Funny, I Dreamed I Was Skiing!“

Acute Angina

A Man To Cardiologist Angrily: “How Dare You Tell My Wife That She Has A Cute Vagina”

Doctor Replied: “Stupid, I Told Her That She Has Acute Angina.“

Handsome

If Sex Between 3 People Is Caled A Threesome, And Between 2 People Is Called A Twosome Then U Can Understand Y All Men Are Called Handsome

By William Sexfear

Nature’s Law Explained By William Sexfear:

No Matter How Sweet A Woman Is, Down Below She’s Always Salty!

36C

A girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"

"Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde?" the girl said.

"Yes, it's because you're blonde," said the mommy.

The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!"

"Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"

"Yes, it's because you're blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home from school. Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.

"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"

"No Honey, it's because you're 24."

Marriage Proposal advertisement

This is an actual letter taken from the Times of India in response to a `Marriage Proposal' advertisement.

Madam, I am one young gentleman living only with myself in Patna . I am seeing ur advertisement for marriage purpose in the daily newspaper. So I decide to press myself on u and I am hopping you will make the marriage with me.
I am the son of my father & mother of agriculture family from inside Patna. I having no sister and no brother also. I become big in Patna only. I educate myself in the Zuarilal Himmatlal High School, Bezna Road.
I am nice and big, six foots tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness why because I am working hardly. I am playing also hardly. Especially I am liking the cricket. I am a good batter also I am fast baller. Whenever I am coming running for the balling, all batters are running everywhere why because they are afraiding my balls. My balls are bouncing too much high. That is very danger for them.
I am very nice gentleman. I always laughing loudly at everyone. I am happy always and gay also. Ladies they are saying I am nice and soft because I giving respect to them. I am always liking if ladies are on top. That is how nice I am.
I am not having any bad habits. I drink milk only and no other bad things. I am not chewing cigarettes or eating gutka paan why because it not good for all the peoples. So I am not doing so.
I am keep fitting everyday. Morning I am going to jim and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can came and see how I pumping the dumb bells in the jim. And now good muscles are come outing everywhere.
I am having very much money in my pant everyday and my pant is everyday open for you why because I am nice gentleman, but still I am living with myself only. What to do? So I am taking my   into my own hands everyday. That is why I want to press myself on you, so that you will come and take my things into your hands.

Forever alone
RIP ENGLISH

F***ing

SIX GOLDEN RULES FOR F***ING !
.
.
.
.
.
.
1) F***ing once a week is good for your health, but it is harmful if
done everyday

2) F***ing relaxes your mind & body

3) F***ing refreshes you

4) After F***ing don't eat too much go for more liquids

5)Try F***ing in bed cause it can save your valuable energy

6) F***ing can reduce your cholesterol level

So remember "FASTING" is good for your health.

GOD BLESS YOUR DIRTY MIND

Marriage Proposal & advertisement

This is an actual letter taken from the Times of India in response to a `Marriage Proposal' advertisement.

Madam, I am one young gentleman living only with myself in Patna . I am seeing ur advertisement for marriage purpose in the daily newspaper. So I decide to press myself on u and I am hopping you will make the marriage with me.
I am the son of my father & mother of agriculture family from inside Patna. I having no sister and no brother also. I become big in Patna only. I educate myself in the Zuarilal Himmatlal High School, Bezna Road.
I am nice and big, six foots tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness why because I am working hardly. I am playing also hardly. Especially I am liking the cricket. I am a good batter also I am fast baller. Whenever I am coming running for the balling, all batters are running everywhere why because they are afraiding my balls. My balls are bouncing too much high. That is very danger for them.
I am very nice gentleman. I always laughing loudly at everyone. I am happy always and gay also. Ladies they are saying I am nice and soft because I giving respect to them. I am always liking if ladies are on top. That is how nice I am.

I am not having any bad habits. I drink milk only and no other bad things. I am not chewing cigarettes or eating gutka paan why because it not good for all the peoples. So I am not doing so.
I am keep fitting everyday. Morning I am going to jim and I am pumping like anything. Daily I am pumping and pumping. If you want you can came and see how I pumping the dumb bells in the jim. And now good muscles are come outing everywhere.
I am having very much money in my pant everyday and my pant is everyday open for you why because I am nice gentleman, but still I am living with myself only. What to do? So I am taking my   into my own hands everyday. That is why I want to press myself on you, so that you will come and take my things into your hands.

Forever alone
RIP ENGLISH

How to Make a Woman Happy

How to Make a Woman Happy. It's not difficult to make a woman happy.

A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
.
.
.
.
55. Creative
56. tender
57. strong
58. understanding
59. tolerant
60. prudent.
.
.
.
.
114. Never to forget: * birthdays * anniversaries * arrangements she makes.

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked
2. Bring food
3. Hand over the remote

As You Are Dead

If You Don't Want to be Forgotten As Soon As You Are Dead...
Either Write Things Worth Reading
or Do Things Worth Writing.!